When you're stuck on a programming problem, such as writing an algorithm, routing a URL, or checking if a user exists, just use the if statement. It works 100% of the time every time. You don't need a library, a framework, or an unpublished npm module for it. Almost all languages have the if statement (with the exception of Rust where it's a syntax error and Python that requires a hand crank for the mechanical tabulator to insert a tab). You can't go wrong with if. Use it!

No wait, use algebraic types. Yes, that will do it! Then also add ORM and ask on Stack Overflow how to join two tables. And then! Delete node_modules and re-run Docker in Vagrant on EC2. That's right! Ah, and post on Hacker News how you rewrote ls in Rust.